Danse of Life - prelude
Danse of Life - prelude
This Sunday I will participate in something called the Danse of Life. This is a piercing ritual which is inspired by the Sun dance in which the participants have hooks put into their chests, and they dance in such a way as to pull on the hooks. Yes, it’s a bit extreme. Maybe one of the most extreme things I’ve volunteered myself for. I’ve never actually done anything like this before, although I have participated as an observer/drummer for at least 3 such events. But I’m clear that observing or drumming is not the same thing. The update I got in the mail suggested that folks who are participating in this take a little time to think about why they are doing this, what they want to get, what they are bringing to it. And I thought this might be a good place to write such thoughts down, especially since it is likely that I’ll post my experience after the fact here. So why do this? The event is being held in a “dungeon”, a place where people explore some of their darker desires and aspirations in the context of BDSM. In fact, all of my experiences of this have been in such a milieu. The first time was 6-8 years ago at a convention called Thunder in the Mountains, and it was lead by world-known members of “the lifestyle” Cleo DuBois and Fakir Musafar. This incarnation of the event was created by Cleo as a way to process her grief at many of her friends who were dying of AIDS. While this is taking place in a dungeon, I don’t consider it sexual. My anticipation is that it will be more shamanic, opening up some new ecstatic states that perhaps I’ve not experienced before. What will I find there? I haven’t a clue. One thing that will be there for me is my crossing over from drummer to full-on participant. In my first experience of this, the ritual took place in a ballroom at a Holiday Inn. There were a couple dozen or so people who participated. They cast a circle, and had a scaffold set up in the middle of the circle for people to hook onto. My most vivid mmeory of the ritual took place about halfway through it. People by this time were hooking their strings up to each other and dancing away from each other, creating tension. The sound, other than the drumming (there were 3 of us in that one) was that of people verbalizing.. moaning, howling, growling, etc. At one point I decided to go around and check out the energy.. i walked around the outside of the circle, and then walked through the middle of the circle. As I hit the center of the circle, there was a simultaneous growl from what seemed to be all sides of me. It actually freaked me out just a little bit and i hurried back to the edge of the circle and my fellow drummers. The dancers danced in several configurations, and I didn’t feel a need, at that point, to explore this myself. A few years later, I heard of and was invited to participate in a similar event at a local dungeon. After seeing the Fakir and Cleo version, this event was a pale shadow. I was a little disappointed because only a handful, like less than 5, people got hooks installed. I heard later on that Fakir’s events, which have been repeated at many “Thunder” conferences. I understand that the first one was not very well-attended, but that it had grown each year. This seems to be what’s happening to the Danse of Life - my first time was small and disappointing, but when it was repeated last year, there were more people - more drummers, more dancers. As I drummed for the ritual, I began to consider doing this myself. It’s been about a year or so, and when I heard about this iteration happening, I decided to ask about doing the danse. Lyon, one of the organizers and the person coordinating the drummers, had a short answer when I asked about what if I were to do the danse: “WOW” So.. I hope to find some ecstatic states of consciousness. I suspect that my stepping over the line from drummer to full participant, may inspire some of the drummers to try this themselves. I’ll have several friends there to observe and support me. I’ve had a number of reactions from various people in my life. Mostly folks are supportive, and really only one person has actively tried to dissuade me. Michelle went to the event two years ago, but was kinda bored, so didn’t attend last year. Now that I’m doing the danse itself, she’s interested, but as an observer not necessarily as a drummer. Marie and Jason will be going, as well, also as observers. And I know that I’ll have the attention and support of the drumming corps while I do my thing. One more piece of it for me: I talk shit a lot, say I’m gonna do this or that, but in the critical moment, I chicken out. I’m still not sure that this won’t happen here. I’m a little apprehensive, sure, but I feel pretty confident that I’ll actuall follow through on this one. If not, I can always just drum. But if I fall back to that, i’m sure that I’ll be looking at the dansers and wondering why I didn’t go there…