more stories about poop

Today is the 6th day of my “master cleanse” fast. Feeling pretty good, only occasionally hungry. But today i want to talk about my asshole.. what’s been coming out of it, specifically. You can still hit “back”. SO the first day was pretty normal, compared the rest of my life. Had several movements, and what came out was pretty normal: dark brown, solid.. towards the end of the day it seemed a bit different. For some reason i am thinkin it reminded me of what you sweep up from the kitchen floor before you mop: some odds and ends.. I don’t think i ate any corn, did i? second day was liquid.. i had squirts until mid afternoon. When in the middle of this thing, if you think you’re gonna fart… well, you should prolly sit down anyway. That’s all I’m gonna say about that. Speaking of farts, there’s an interesting thing that happens when you drink a quart of seawater. A couple minutes later, I have had to fart.. kinda like the air escaping from the garden hose when you turn the water on. day 2 was pretty much the same. Gotta say days 2-4 were really rough for me psychologically. I was a very irritable person (who, despite peeing out his ass for a couple days, did not have an irritable asshole.) These days it came out as mostly light brown, sometimes the same color as when you take niacin. But it s been almost exclusively liquid since then. night 2 i just went to bed at 9 so i wouldnt hurt anyone. Day 3 about the same, should have done so on day 4. M’s doing the same cleanse as me, but she started two days later, so today is her 4th. She suddenly had something solid today. She’s not cleansing quite as “pure” as I am as she is stil smoking, albeit an herbal blend made of about a half dozen herbs including (from memory) coltsfoot, damiana, camomile, lungwort, mullein, lobelia when she wants to tickle the nicotine receptors (was really helpful for the first few days, but now she doesnt add that at all). She’s now been two weeks without tobacco, but still finds herself craving a cigarette, particularly after I’ve gotten irritable from all the detoxing i am doing Oh yeah, day 3. One thing that i’ve heard is that old aches and pains come back for a visit when you do this. In my case, these came in the form of trouble with my right big toe, which i damaged while at the sign shop by setting a 4’ x 8’ sheet of steel on my foot (attempting to use my leg to lift it) except i dropped it a little hard. probably broke the toe a little bit, but since then i occasionaly have issues with it depending on how tight my shoes are. Happened quite frequently, but since my 3 months in an ortho boot 2 last year, it made a nearly complete recovery. Now it comes back once in a while and makes me limp a bit. The other big ache that came back to me was in m lower back. This i’m not so sure about. The friend who turned me onto this cultish thing i’m doing said that that could be kidney flushing toxins. He knows, having passed a few stones in that area. M’s pains have included her elbow and hand (which were negatively impacted by a dislocated elbow 2 yrs ago) and various abdominal things related to recent surgeries. She’s got a rather high ambient pain level, so it’s hard to tell. On day 3 i was really tempted to end my other abstinence. i was even offered some, but i declined. I felt pretty good about that, and I’m really not craving. As mentioned elsewhere in this LJ, my irritibility lasted more like 3 days this time. Fortunately nobody got killed or injured. ANother interesting thing about this thing is the saltwater blast each morning. Wake up about 6 or so (7 today, what the heck, it’s saturday) and drink 32oz of water wiht 2 tsp of kosher salt mixed into it. The first day it took me 20 minutes to drink this seawater tasting concoction, stopping several times to quell protestaions of my gut. The next day it was easier, but it still took several minutes. Soon i could swallow 2+ swallows at a go. I got faster and faster, to the point where today I downed the whole thing in one go. 32 oz, 15 swallows (now i know how much a swallow is) Oh yeah.. on day 1 (Monday) I took body measurements. Maybe i should type them in here for posterior: bob’s measurements, day 1	neck
upper right arm	12 1/2”
upper left arm	12”
chest	42”
waist	40”
hip	39 3/4”
upper right thigh	23
upper left thigh	23

(hey amy: thanks for teaching me tables 12 years ago) I haven’t taken complete new measurements, but on day 3, my waist was down to 37. I took a walk to my old office that day to use the scale that i knew was available at the Marriott. I was 191#. Last night i watched a couple movies and found myself really craving my vice for the pretty much the first time since i stopped. Oh yeah.. Thursday was 8 weeks since my last tobacco cigarette (remember 7.12.2007 at 10:28 PM - but that’s another story)