What happened over the weekend? oh, not much...
What happened over the weekend? oh, not much…
I just got tied to a couple trees and flogged.
What happens in the woods stays in the woods.. and sometimes in our minds and hearts.
Warning, The following account contains a graphic description of a real flogging ing which left real bruises. If that’s might be upsetting, don’t click here, you have been warned.
What to say when one decides that is needed is a beating to deal with some inconvenient (to say the least) thoughts.
The idea was that I felt like i had been “bad”, on some level, and that I needed to be punished. Some very deep part of me said “yes” when that came up in conversation, so I decided to go with it. That Dionysus is associated with masochism and wisdom seemed to make this a good mix.
Earlier in the afternoon, I had been tasked to putting up the ropes on a couple of handy trees. Cutting my own switch, as it were. I had a strange moment of distrust testing the height of the rope. Michelle wanted me to clip into both ropes, and i was hesitant, didn’t want to because i didn’t trust.
The time hadn’t been set. In the evening, after having gotten my permission for a guest flogger to accompany, my flogger had fallen asleep in her tent. I began to wonder if it was going to happen. I was feeling a little hesitant, not so much because I didn’t want it to happen.
Eventually, I was called to meet at the trees. I was clipped to the trees. The dom asked what i was there for. I said i was bad and needed to be punished. For what? i was asked. Being untrue to myself. And who else were you untrue to? I hesitated (was this part of the story i had imagined? too late) and said “Michelle”.
At the beginnning, i was holding on to the rope with my hands (i was fastened in fuzzy cuffs caribeaner’d to a piece of rope). At some point, i let it go and was just hanging from my arms. I can’t remember a lot of the details of the experience, other than I howled and cried aloud, to the extent that folks at the other end of camp could hear my screams.
Eventually, i was asked what else.. it seeemed like it was done. I finally gave the safe-word because it seemed like that’s what she wanted me to do. I wasn’t done, but getting “done” was prolly further than I really wanted to go, anyways. I didn’t need to get sent to the hospital.
The conclusion I came to was this: I was expecting something quick and effective, maybe like seeing a movie where all the ends are tied up nicely within a couple hours. What I got, instead, was an intro to a series, like a pilot. Exploring this further will likely be incremental, not monumental.
Since yesterday, I feel like I am lighter, more alive perhaps. My back is all bruised (I might post a pic here later)