no wake and bake...
no wake and bake…
So.. Well, I had quite an evening last night.. roommate problems.. blech.. I talked to Josh for a while.. lots of stuff, but he challenged me to not smoke stuff this morning, or today.. I did that.. I left my stuff at home (kinda cheating, but what the heck) .. So here’s my report: First off, I was a bit hung over this morning.. several beers.. a couple cigarettes.. yuck.. My shoulder, which has been a kinda dull throb when it hurts, was a more focused point of pain today. I told John at work what I was doing, and he said that smoking wouldnt kill the pain, in fact make me pay more attention to it. I said that smoking is a muscle relaxer. sure sure sure, he said. I said that i wasn’t using that as an excuse to break my promise, but that it was one of the effects. Tod at work had something.. I told him, very calmly, that I didn’t have anything today, and that i was abstaining for the day. (last week or so, I announced, quite loudly, to the whole shop, that I didnt have any drugs because he wasnt getting my hints in response to his hints - but I couldnt do justice to the whole scene here) I could have asked. I didn’t. So, bottom line, it was an ok day; I was very aware that I was in a different frame of mind. I wasn’t jonesing or anything.. although when I had to wait a half hour for Michelle to get off work, I was very impatient. Even if I were aligned with quitting, the first day isnt the difficult one - it’s six weeks later, when I forget how it clouds my head somewhat with chronic use. The issues which were bothering me last night are still bothering me; I am “on it” in a big way, and unwilling to get off it. Perhaps it is appropriate that I be this way: if i were stoned, I’d prolly be willing to just shine things on. I talked to Puck this afternoon; apparently it took 4 hours for them to walk to his house. I take NO responsibility for that: I didn’t ask for it. I also didn’t ask for the money in the money jar to go anywhere. heh.. livejournals that can be read by others.. Oh well..